Grell's Totally Selfdelusional Dilemma
by kirayasha aka kira
Summary: Takes place during the events of the first OVA. Grell has a problem and asks Soma for help…


**Title: **Grell's Totally Self-delusional Dilemma

**Author:** kira

**Rating:** OT

**Words:** 2564

**Characters:** Soma, Grell, Agni

**Summary**: Takes place during the events of the first OVA. Grell has a problem and asks Soma for help…

**Warnings**: None

**Author's notes: **From Wikipedia, "Hajra are physiological males who have feminine gender identity, women's clothing and other feminine gender roles. Hijras have a long recorded history in the Indian subcontinent, from the Mughal Empire period onwards. This history features a number of well-known roles within sub-continental cultures, part gender-liminal, part spiritual and part survival. Most hijras live at the margins of society with very low status; the very word "hijra" is sometimes used in a derogatory manner. Few employment opportunities are available to hijras. Many get their income from performing at ceremonies, begging, or sex work—an occupation of eunuchs also recorded in premodern times. Hijras are often encountered on streets, trains, and other public places demanding money from people. If refused, the hijra may attempt to embarrass the man into giving money, using obscene gestures, profane language, and even sexual advances. In India for example, threatening to open their private parts in front of the man if he does not donate something. Hijras also perform religious ceremonies at weddings and at the birth of male babies, involving music, singing, and sexually suggestive dancing. These are intended to bring good luck and fertility. Although hijras are most often uninvited, the host usually pays the hijras a fee. Many fear the hijras' curse if they are not appeased, bringing bad luck or infertility, but for the fee they receive, they can bless goodwill and fortune on to the newly born. Hijras are said to be able to do this because, since they do not engage in sexual activities, they accumulate their sexual energy which they can use to either bestow a boon or a bane.

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Soma looked down at his clipboard and sighed. As the props-master, he was in charge of the play's props; from Lau's crown, to Sebastian's and Ciel's swords, where he doubled as the weapons' master, but he still felt like Sebastian was just trying to placate him for not giving him a part in _Hamlet._Soma did not care what he said, running around looking after a bunch of junk on top of doing the lighting for the play, was not better than a brief moment in the spotlight. The prince stood there, trying to see if there was anyone else he could go speak to about their props, but he had already spoken to everyone, including a rather tense ten minutes with Mister Sebastian, except Miss Grell. Heaving another sigh, he knew had no other choice but go see that stupid hajra.

Soma walked over to Grell's dressing room and knocked softly on the door. He wanted to keep this short and sweet, and after checking the list, he was pleased to see all Grell required was a small bouquet of flowers. He knocked again and was about to go when he heard him trilling something about Sebastian, before opening the door.

"Oh, it's you," Grell said, his voice dripping with disappointment.

_Yeah, I'm happy to see you too…_Soma thought as he looked down at his clipboard again. Looking up at Grell, he said, "Your props are a bunch of flowers and I'll have them waiting for you backstage, before your big entrance."

"Oh…" Suddenly brightening, Grell reached out, and grabbing the prince's wrist, he pulled him into his dressing room. "Did I ever tell you how much I-?"

"No!" Soma interrupted.

Grell giggled. "Have you ever been in love… Prince…?"

"It's 'Soma.'" _How many times do I have to tell you that…?_"Yeah… why?"

"Well, then you know the depths of passion love brings!" Grell sighed dramatically. "Both my sweet William and Sebastian are in love with me."

"Oh really," Soma said dryly as he inched his way closer to the door. The last thing he wanted to do was be trapped in there with the crazy hajra while he spouted some nonsense about two people Soma did not care about in the slightest.

Grell nodded. "But it's such a difficult choice for a lady to make," he trilled. "I work with William," he sighed, "I've known him forever, it seems… and that was a slow, simmering love…" his voice got deep and husky. "And then I met my darling, little Sebastian!" He giggled. "I actually had a chance to work with him too! It was like fate drew us together!"

"I see…"

Grell, taking the clipboard away from Soma, set it on his dressing table. He grasped the prince's hands. "You do?" His green eyes burned brightly with emotion.

Soma nodded. He felt trapped and figured it was easier humoring the stupid hajra, than contradicting him. Plastering a smile on his face, Soma said, "Yes… I was once in love with Meena…"

"A woman?" There was a hint of disgust in Grell's voice, for all his claiming to be a woman as well.

"Well, yes… but I also love Agni…" Soma felt his cheeks heating up. _Why am I telling him this…? Cuz English hajra are just as annoying as Indian ones, that's why and the only way to get rid of them is to do as they ask…_

"Ah… yes! Your Agni is quite a fine looking man!" The fey redhead leered at him.

"Yeah…"

"And almost as tasty as my Sebastian…" Grell purred. "If you're not careful… I might steal him from you!" he teased.

"No you won't!"

Grell tittered coquettishly. "Anyway…where was I?"

"Talking about Sebastian."

"Yes! He's a gorgeous hunk of demon flesh, no?"

"Demon?" Soma quirked an eyebrow at him. _That would explain a lot… That's if it's true… but still, I don't know…_He dismissed the hajra's ramblings as nonsense.

"Yes… Ours is a forbidden love." Grell sighed dramatically.

That piqued Soma's interest. "Yeah?"

Grell nodded. Lacing his fingers together, he held them under his chin as he gave the prince his best tragic heroine look. "Oh yes… My beloved Sebastian is a Demon… and I'm a Reaper," he said as if that explained everything.

"Reaper?" Soma repeated, thoroughly confused.

"I reap the souls of the dead upon dying; Demons eat them."

Soma frowned. "But if you do that and they do that, then they can't be reborn, can they?"

"Hmmm…" Grell thought it over. "I think they can if we reap them… but I don't know for certain, I missed that class…" he tittered. "I do know if a demon eats someone's soul, it's gone." Grell flashed his shark-toothed smile at him.

"Oh…" Soma shuddered.

"Yes, so now you see why it's a tragic, forbidden love! Demons hate us for 'wasting' the tasty souls and Reapers hate Demons for eating them… It's a mess, I tell you! But out of this mess a love so pure and innocent arose…"

"Yeah?" Soma blinked. Despite the fact that he believed the hajra only spoke nonsense, Soma was intrigued.

Grell nodded and took a seat in front of his dressing table. He motioned for Soma to sit in the room's other chair, which Soma did. "The battle between Demons and Reapers has been going on for centuries, and-"

Soma nodded. "Aaah…just like the epic tales of the gods!"

"Errr… yes… well, anyway… Reapers and Demons have always hated each other until now…" Grell looked away, somewhat upset. "And while I absolutely adore Sebastian, and not only because of the forbidden nature of our love, but because he loves me… and yet," Grell paused dramatically.

"And yet…?" Soma prompted.

"And yet, I love my darling Will… Sweet, sweet, William… I've know him since our academy days. He was such an old fogey back then, still is." Grell sighed softly, lost in his memories of William T. Spears.

"A what?" Soma said, bringing Grell back to reality.

"A fogey… you know; an old codger…"

Soma stared blankly back at him.

"Oh never mind…" He sighed again, this time in irritation. "Anyway, my problem is this; I can't possibly choose between them. And before you tell me to choose both, I'm a lady and ladies don't have more than one special gentleman at a time."

Soma thought it over.

"Well…?"

"I'm thinking…" The prince decided to give it a shot. He figured no matter whom he chose, the hajra would complain, but he wanted to give him an honest answer none-the-less. "Ummm… If William is sweet…?"

"But Sebastian is so handsome, don't you agree?"

"Well… he's not …" Soma frowned. "He's not… ummm… I don't know… I just, I umm, I… just don't have that kind of feeling for him." _Seriously… I think I like Mister Sebastian about as much as he likes me… which isn't very much at all…_

Grell nodded. "I suppose that's because your tastes run to things more exotic." He smiled. "Like Agni…"

"Err, yes…But anyway, if this William is sweet, then why not choose him and save yourself the heartache of a forbidden love." _And yet, why do I get the feeling Mister Sebastian would thank me for that answer…?_

"But Sebastian is sweet and kind and lovable too!"

"If you say so…" Soma said softly to himself as Grell launched into a recitation of Sebastian's many charms.

"How could I not love him…?"

"Well, if you put it that way…?" Soma said helplessly. "Then give your heart to him."

"But what about my sweet William…?"

Soma barely resisted the urge to run his palm down his face. "Ummm…?"

"Well…?" Grell scooted forward and took Soma's hands in his again. He waited with baited breath for the prince's answer.

"Well, I think you'd be a lot happier if you weren't such a… a lady…" At the dark look on Grell's face, he quickly added, "Why not do something, to get them both to notice you and whoever notices you first gets your heart?"

Grell, thought it over and the play of emotion that flitted across his face would have been laughable, if Soma was not sure the hajra was dangerously insane. "That's brilliant! I'll do it!"

"Yeah…?"

"Yes! Hmmm…" Grell let go of the prince's hands. "What to do, what to do… I've already sent William an invitation to the play, and Sebastian is in it… hmmm…"

"Maybe Lord Rama Krishna can help you…?" Soma said when he suddenly realized this was his big chance to get a part in the play after all.

"Who…?"

"Lord Rama Krishna! As a god, I'll be able to revive you, since your character dies midway through the play, and then you can walk across the stage and all eyes will be upon you and…"

"No. I shall have to think of something else," Grell said. He smiled sweetly and patted Soma's knee as if to make everything alright. "Thank you, but no. Although, coming back from the dead has its merits… Perhaps I can float gently down on gossamer wings?"

"What's gossamer mean?"

"Never mind…" Grell waved his hand dismissively at him.

"Hmmm… what about a boat?" Soma asked, suddenly remembering a gondola that was hanging from the rafters, backstage.

"A boat?" Grell frowned.

Soma nodded. "As props master, I'm supposed to keep track of everything backstage and I noticed there was a boat hanging from the ceiling. Maybe you can use that? Mister Bard can lower you gently down."

"YES!" Grell leaned forward and kissed him. "I knew there was a reason I liked you!"

It was all Soma could do not to spit and wipe his mouth, as it was bad enough he had to keep the look of disgust off his face. "You do…?"

"Oh yes! But not as much as I like my darlings Sebastian and Will…" He sighed dramatically again.

_Thank the gods!_Soma thought.

"And tonight, when I'm lying naked in their arms and they make sweet, passionate love to me on a bed of silk and rose petals, I shall think of you, my dear prince," Grell trilled. "I can see it now, Sebastian lying on top of me, trailing a line of butterfly soft kisses down my naked flesh, inching his way lower and lower to my…ummm," he said huskily. "While my sweet William sucks my dainty toes, and then when I'm lying back satiated, I'll watch them make love to each other, because I'm sure that 'hatred' is all an act to just keep up appearances and make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, knowing two men are fighting to possess me…"

"Please don't!" Soma said forcibly, jolting Grell out of his fantasies.

"Hunh?" The redheaded Reaper blinked.

"Seriously, you should think of your lovers at that moment!"

"Yes, I should, shouldn't I? With each kiss, and tender love bite, no…?"

"Yes…" Soma nodded. "Well, look at the time, I need to go." He stood up and backed away towards the door.

"Very well, but when it's all done and over, I shall tell you all about it, even though a lady should never kiss and tell! I promise not spare any details! It's the least I can do since you're being so kind as to help me in matters of the heart…"

"Err… thank you… Anyway, bye!" Soma turned and opened the door. He quickly made his escape, slamming the door closed behind him. Hurrying away from Grell's dressing room, he ran headlong into Agni.

"My prince! Are you alright?"

"No! Agni, I was stuck in there with that crazy hajra while he begged me to help him decide who he likes better. Mister Sebastian or someone named William..." Soma shuddered. "And then he told me some silly nonsense about Demons and Reapers and forbidden love and…" The prince, seeing the look of anger on his beloved khansama's face, quickly added, "Never mind, I'm fine now." _As much I want to tell you about my super secret part in the play… I don't want Mister Sebastian finding out…_

"You sure, my prince?"

"Very sure. In fact, I'm so sure, I'm hungry! Is there any of that delicious curry left from lunch?"

Before Agni could reply, Grell exited his dressing room, clipboard in hand. "Oh, Prince Whatever-your-name-is," he trilled, "You left this behind." He sashayed over to them. "Oh hello, Agni…" Grell purred as he looked him up and down, undressing him with his eyes as he did so.

"Hello… Miss Grell." Agni brought his hands together, and gave him a slight bow. "Thank you," he said, taking the clipboard from him. "If you'll excuse us?" he added, not that he was adverse to Grell's flirtations, he simply found the reaper annoying in general.

"Yes, of course… And thank you again for your help. Prince...?"

"You're welcome," Soma replied. "Come, Agni."

Agni quirked his eyebrow at the prince, but said nothing. Something was not quite right with his beloved, although, he was hard pressed to put a finger on what exactly was bothering Soma, aside from not getting a part in the play. Besides, he knew from past experience that Soma would eventually tell him what's troubling him, unless it quickly resolved itself. Still, he could not help wondering what went on in Grell's dressing room as he followed his beloved prince, especially when Soma paused to look up at the boat that was hanging from the rafters, before hurrying off in search of a snack. He found out later that evening when all hell broke loose during the play.

During Ciel's scene with Sebastian, the children in the audience became upset and it was a good thing Grell "floated" down in a gondola as it broke the tension. It was also just the thing Soma needed to make his grand entrance, which Agni later learned was nearly spoiled by Bard holding him back. Agni was happy the children loved the prince and that no one was upset by his impromptu addition to the play.

Soma found he did not mind going around and collecting the props, now that he had had a chance to be in the play. Mister Sebastian had even surprised him by complimenting his performance, instead of getting angry with him when he collected his sword. Looking down at his clipboard, he saw the only thing he had left to do was collect the hajra's flowers. Since they came from Ciel's garden, it was decided he could keep them, but Soma decided to visit him anyway. Apparently this William person had made the hajra's choice for him and Soma was curious to see if it was the right one.

Walking up to Grell's dressing room's door, he knocked lightly and waited for an answer. When no one appeared, he knocked again. "Miss Grell…? Are you decent?" he asked, although he highly doubted it. Still getting no answer, Soma cautiously opened the door and peeked inside. Finding no sign of him or the dress he wore as his costume, he chuckled softly. _I guess he did make the right choice after all…_ he thought. _With a bit of luck, he'll forget to tell me all about it…_ Closing the door, he hurried off towards Agni's dressing room, where his beloved khansama was waiting for him, before heading back to the townhouse for the cast party…


End file.
